Another year strikes in, another father’s day marches in, not quite unlike the almost martial strides dads take as they move out to take on the world. And right from the day’s start, a barrage of WhatsApp statues, Instagram stories, and internet articles cannot be escaped. So is the all-encompassing hold of validation seeking on Social Media, that I saw one of my friends who had walked out on his family 3 years back, post a story about how much he loves his dad and how much he does ‘to keep him happy every day’. I mean, sure but I’m not sure the dad sees it that way. But I digress.
One such post from Film Companion Reviews was a poll on what film would you pick to watch with your dad. ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ came up quite a lot. But as I was scrolling through the comments, I just couldn’t shake the little part of me that was still engrossed in this movie I had watched a couple of days back and that believed that it belonged in there.
I have already given away the title in the title, so no point in toying with it anymore. Dead Poets Society, in my humble opinion, is the quintessential movie to watch with your dads. Long been hailed as a must-watch for youngsters on the precipice of adulthood. The time when you make decisions, some your own, others not so much. Decisions that cast as large a shadow on their futures as the metaphorical trees that are ordinally a topic of focus in the verses of the great poets the film pays homage to.
So what does a film about a bunch of young dudes roaming around caves reading poetry from the artists long dead, all while smoking, dancing, and bringing an occasional lady friend into the cave, have to do with dads or suicide and most importantly, have something valuable to say?
It does because while the world sees ‘Dead Poets Society’ as a movie every teenager should watch, I choose to see it as one every parent, especially dad should watch.
That is because in telling our kids to watch it, we are telling them to follow their passions or as Mr. Keating would say, ‘Carpe Diem’. But in teaching that, we’re also kind of saying “We cannot really change what we disagree with, we can go ahead and forge our own paths.”
So often, we see protagonists going off the set paths onto success. But not often do we find out what became of the path itself. Because it, in all probability, is still there, still leading millions onto orthodoxy, not success.
How different the world would be if we let ourselves face our shortcomings. Face them, witness them and learn from them.
And that is why it is of utmost necessity that dads watch ‘Dead Poets Society’, men watch ‘Promising Young Woman’ & white people watch ‘Get Out’.
Not as a practice in emasculation, not to prove a point, not even to change somebody who does not want to. Just as an exercise of reflection. Of facing someone we oughtn’t to be, for the greater good.
And when dads watch ‘Dead Poets Society’ and hold a mirror up and realize the ever so dramatic outcomes of their actions, only then will young men & women no longer feel that suicide is the harmonious asylum of dreams undreamt and passions unpursued.
